I've got nothing ...

It's been a while in between posts. I have been distracted during lockdown by all the usual things like home learning with three kids; the endless food preparation cycle of breakfast, lunch, dinner and so many snacks; the futile battle of trying to keep some basic level of order and tidiness; and starting a new work contract and getting up to speed.

I also have a confession ... that for someone who publicly walks the talk of self care, I just haven't been very good at it this lockdown. I have bursts of energy and good intentions, which usually find me at the end of the day eating junk food, drinking wine and staying up too late watching something on one of the many streaming services we have now.

Living on acreage is a wonderful experience however the kids have really felt the isolation. We don't have close neighbours, their friends live across the border in the ACT and the rules don't permit entering the ACT for even an outdoor catch up. The announcement of a friends bubble in NSW has been welcome, and they have recently been able to re-establish some old friendships. Previous to that they hadn't left the property or seen anyone apart from our family in 8 weeks. I know we are not alone in this and we are all seeing just how tough this time is for our kids.

Exercise at the moment seems to me like some weird pyramid selling scheme. I feel tired and flat and don't feel like going for a walk but if I push myself then I get the burst of dopamine that comes with exercise and feel much better. It would be really great if it was the other way round, just for now!

The various roadmaps out of lockdown offer hope for when things will return to Covid normal, that we will be able to get out and see friends and eat amazing food again. At the same time for us, all of our family live in either Queensland or Western Australia and it's very unlikely that border rules will change that will allow us 'poxy' NSW types in! To be honest I am just so relieved that our families are healthy and well, as it would just so much harder if they were sick or needed support and we couldn't get to them.

I have found something that has helped, gardening. With the warmer weather pottering in the garden has provided a quiet and industrious outlet. Unable to get seedlings I found some old seeds and planted them ... the rule not to plant anything in this climate until we know the winner of the Melbourne Cup be damned! I don't really care if it's not successful, there is just something so grounding in sticking your hands in soil.

I hope you are all doing okay. Know that it's okay not to be okay. Be kind to yourself and avoid overwhelm. Reach out to others and connect if it helps. We will get through this.

L x