Do you have a 'Ten-ager'?

I have just finished reading (well, listening in my car via Audible) Madonna King's book 'Ten-ager', that discusses that the age of 10 is now the start of a girl's teenage years.

It puts forward evidence that due to hormones and development, TV, movies and social media (and a range of other factors) girls are transitioning from childhood earlier than the teen years, at around age 10.

I have a nine, about to turn 10, year old so I found this book super useful. My daughter's life and experiences are so very different (and that's both good and bad) to my life experiences at the same age. She has access to so much information, TV shows and the pressures of social media (she doesn't have it but some of her friends do). I was finding it really hard to understand some of the things she was dealing with day-to-day and this book helped me better understand what's behind the many mood changes and angry shouting (so much angry shouting!).

My daughter wants a more grown up room (rainforest theme) but still sleeps with her favourite teddy. She wants her ears pierced but still wants to be read a story at bedtime. She wants to watch M rated movies but then complains that she doesn't want to see grown ups kissing. She makes herbal tea in her own teapot but still plays with her LOL dolls.

My daughter is desperately trying to hold on to being her child self and often tells me that she wishes she won't get any older. She feels left behind by her friends who have mobile phones, rehearse TikTok dances at school, and are starting to dress a little more 'grown up', when she wants to climb on the monkey bars, engage in imaginative play and thinks crop tops are too sexy.

She has also found friendships really difficult, although she does tend to gravitate towards any and every 'drama cyclone'.

The biggest challenge my husband and I have faced is the mood swings. She can go from being happy, positive and playful to screaming, tears and 'I have no friends' or 'you are the worst mum in the world' in under 30 seconds. It can be really hard to stay calm and work through the explosive moment, and resist the urge to yell back.

So if you need help better understanding how your 10 year old daughter is feeling, and to know what to say, and when to say nothing and just listen, I totally recommend 'Ten-ager'.

More information available at: https://madonnaking.com.au/book/ten-ager/